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It Gets Worse Every Year

by Will Hattman

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1.
Cover Up 03:44
it gets worse every year this disappointment your pain is a lot of things but it's not poignant but i won't feel it till it's gone on and on and on and on but i won't feel it till it's gone on and on and on and on and on i tasted the worst of you it went to my head and you always were too sick to share the one bed and though i can't feel it i've been led on and on and on and on and though i can't feel it i've been led on and on and on and on and on i need you to cover up you look so useless it gets harder to fill your cup when nothing exists but you won't feel it till it's all gone, gone, gone, gone but you won't feel it till it's all gone, gone, gone, gone, gone you made this mess you fucking clean it up
2.
Gas Mask 01:49
no end of stuff outside my window every day a new tableau of threats i'm losing trust in my defenses and see the darkness placing bets so to make a long story short i think i need to get a gas mask i'll be back to normal life as soon as i get a gas mask last time i did this it was winter and all that ice has melted now who knows what i could end up breathing i've gotta protect myself somehow which is why i need a hundred bucks so i can go and get a gas mask i can pay you back next month with the money i make at the job i can get once it's safe for me to go outside again
3.
Despair 03:29
i've been living with a little doom a little doom inside my mouth you didn't really give me any room any room to drag you down you're untouched and it's too much it's too much too much despair it's too much too much despair it's too much i gotta find a way to make it stick make it stick inside my mind you really did the things you did you really left us all behind i'm in the middle, can't you see you made such a fool of me i'm in the middle, don't you care about the weight you made me bear you treated secrecy like wealth and now you've cashed the final check the worst version of yourself is the only version left you're untouched and it's too much it's too much too much despair it's too much too much despair and not even one inch to spare it's too much too much too much
4.
Marking Time 02:29
i'm waiting for your call i'm walking up your wall i'm marking time i'm heavy on your chest i never do my best i'm learning not to care you're less and less aware i'm marking time tell me what you see when you go outside
5.
Insinuating 01:49
i see you walking i hit my brakes my mouth starts moving it eats my face i kill the headlights i burn the car i frighten people who see it from afar i can't keep hating you can't keep waiting i ain't insinuating nothing i found a problem with everything i can't take one step unless i face away i hate the impulse i hate the driving fear i'm blown away by the depth of failure here i can't keep hating you can't keep waiting i ain't insinuating nothing
6.
you reckon the light cannot be lost you figure to fight at any cost i'm waiting for better or for worse i'm clinging to thoughts of what came first i'm starving to murder and to die i'm playing the fate card day and night your screaming will fall upon deaf ears stop steaming the fight's been through for years i'm waiting until the bottom drops pulsating to pull out all the stops i'm starving to murder and to die i'm playing the fate card day and night and it's more than enough to kill for yeah it's more than enough
7.
Snakeskin 03:33
i ad a little snakeskin in the morning i got a little sick and that's just fine i had a couple years to rest on laurels but now i'm getting sick again sometimes i got it in an undiscovered country i spread it through the airport and went home i didn't think about my friends and family i didn't think of anyone at all i had to find a way to send this message talking on the telephone's no good i don't wanna hear you recognizing that i didn't love you like i said i would i can't believe i didn't do this sooner i thought it up a long long time ago i didn't make a plan for what comes after so i'll work around the one thing that i know that i don't want you back
8.
The Answer 02:36
stuck in heaven for six hours now it all got away from me lately i'm not interested in why i can't just leave it be it comes to me when nothing adds up to the answer that was you breaking into dusty atoms now lost in your precious heart radiation poisoning or not this is the freshest start it comes to me when nothing adds up to the answer that was you waking up gets harder and harder to do
9.
Soulmate 03:40
step outside and go wandering around in the snow grab a lifeline hon nothing moves under the sun do you ever get cold me too and i start wondering where do i go now step outside and run wandering around with a gun make a day go by give it all you've got right between the eyes do you ever get scared me too and i start wondering where do i go now take that step again not across but down we don't get to be who we wish we were

credits

released June 5, 2020

written and performed by Will Hattman
recorded and mixed by Victor Paul Nash at Destination Universe, 2018–19
mastered by Gus Elg at Sky Onion, 2020
released by Cavity Search Records
CSR167

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Will Hattman Portland, Oregon

increasingly old person

cavity search records

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